Aileen ▎不后悔和我丈夫一起做的这18件事

1和他约会

我的丈夫是一位牧师，周一通常是他放假的日子。但和大多数放假的日子一样，我们的周一通常满了各种家务活（对他来说则是有很多写作任务）。但有一件事是我们总是努力去做的，就是从家里溜出去一段时间，或出去吃中午饭。

2和他一起煮饭

老实说，我丈夫的大部分时间只会看我煮饭。但我其中一些最甜美的回忆，就是我准备晚餐的时候，他搬一张凳子进厨房，和我呆在一起（我想他这样做也是完全没有意识！）。周五晚上是我们边吃披萨边看电影的时间，蒂姆通常加入帮忙，我们一起做披萨，我爱这些时刻。

3和他一起祷告

我爱和我的丈夫一起祷告，我喜爱听他祷告，因为当我听他对主说话的时候，我可以看见他内心的光景。

4给他服事的自由

这一直是我们婚姻中一件挣扎的事，有时我恨他的牧师工作花了他太多时间和精力。给他服事教会的自由，不仅仅是让他去，还相信他的事奉是必不可少，对教会是有益处的，让他按照神已经给他安排的位置发挥作用。他感受到这种自由的时候，他就是一位更好的长老、丈夫和父亲。

5和他亲吻道晚安

我丈夫和我通常同时上床睡觉，在入睡前一起祷告。太过容易的是，在漫长一天结束时，各人转过身就入睡。但亲吻道晚安，是甜美、简单表明爱意的方法。

6一起完成一些项目

我们约会的时候开始，丈夫和我就已经一同工作，安排一些项目和计划。从装修房子的计划，到一起开公司，或者推广演唱会和会议，我们总是一起配合得很好。为着一个共同的目标花时间一起工作，这只会坚固我们的婚姻。

7家庭敬拜

我很喜欢看着丈夫给孩子读圣经，我很喜欢看着他和他们互动，讲解经文，然后按着经文与他们一同祷告。

8和他一起煮饭

蒂姆大笑的时候，我就会很开心。他是一个内敛的人，经常轻声地笑，但放声大笑则少得多。但他真正开心的时候，他的笑声是最让人欢喜的。我非常珍惜我们能一起开怀大笑的时间。

9请求他饶恕

我是一个骄傲的人，我花了很长时间，才学会当我得罪我生命中最重要的人时求他饶恕。我如此感恩神赐恩典和长进，并且祷告求神使我在这方面可以继续长进。

10表明爱意

很自然，我丈夫和我用不同方式领受爱，他爱的语言是身体接触，我爱的语言则并非如此。我已经学会了，当我用身体语言向他表明爱的时候，这对他有何等重大的意义。

11给他打电话

我晚上出去骑车或踢足球的时候，在回家路上通常会给丈夫打电话。如果我对晚上活动感到很激动，想告诉他发生的事的时候，我就会给他打电话。

12和他一起学习

从我们18年前第一次约会开始，我们就已经享受在一起学习的时间（也许这是因为我们第一次是在同一所高中的课室里见面的！）。虽然我们通常很难找到时间，但我们总是享受一起读一本书或一篇文章，或听一篇讲道。

13服从他的带领

妻子顺服丈夫的核心，就是相信他的领导能力，让自己接受带领。当我让自己遵从丈夫带领时，我们的婚姻和我们的生活就会顺利得多。

14给他肯定

有很多声音告诉男人他们的身份是什么，但在这一切中最响亮的就是妻子的声音。一位丈夫的自尊心，比我们通常以为的要脆弱得多。每一位妻子都要知道，她能用言语和态度，建造丈夫或把丈夫拆毁。

15向他问候

蒂姆工作一天回家进门的时候，向他打招呼问候，这是我仍然努力要学的一件事。我经常沉浸在自己正在做的事情当中，但这件小事对他却有重大的意义。

16和他一起旅行

我们家的孩子还很小，但有一些时候，我们能够请某人帮我们看孩子，好叫我俩能一起出去。这要花大量的准备功夫！我要花一个星期组织饮食，打扫房屋，好让我能够与丈夫一起参加一次会议或去某个地方。但我喜爱与他在一起的时间，我喜爱看他在现场工作。

17与他交通

我们的家务事很忙，有三个孩子，他们也需要我们花大量时间在他们身上。在这一切混乱当中，我花时间停下我正在做的事，与我丈夫交通，让他和孩子们看到，他对我来说是多么重要。

18饶恕他

我的丈夫会得罪我，但每次总是求我饶恕。我如此感恩，基督的宝血遮盖我一切的罪，如此感恩，基督的血告诉我，我也能饶恕我的丈夫。我已经在婚姻生活中学会，当我不饶恕的时候，我就变得苦毒。

现在请你想一想，有些什么事情吗，是你不会后悔和你丈夫一起做的？如果心里愿意，那就赶紧开始吧。

本文作者Aileen Challies和丈夫

文章来自古旧福音网站

http://www.old-gospel.net/viewthread.php?tid=707

英文原文：

18Things I Will Not Regret Doing With My Husband

by Aileen Challies

【1】Dating him. Because Tim is a pastor, Monday is usually his day off. But like most days off, our Mondays areusually filled with chores (and in his case, writing). But one thing we alwaystry to do is to get away from the house and go out for some time and somelunch. I will never regret setting aside that time to be together.

【2】Cooking. Well, Tim mostly watches, but some of my sweetest memories come fromhim pulling a chair into the kitchen to hang out with me while I prepare dinnerin the evening (I think he does it totally subconsciously too!). Friday nightsis our pizza and movie night and Tim usually pitches in and we make the pizzatogether. I love these moments and will never regret that time spent cookingtogether.

【3】Praying with him. I love praying with my husband. I love hearing him praybecause I see so much of his heart when I listen to him speaking to the Lord. Iwill never regret prioritizing the times praying with him.

【4】Freeing him to serve. This has been a struggle in our marriage and there havebeen times I have resented how much time and attention his pastoring takes.Freeing up Tim to serve our church not just by allowing him to go, but bybelieving in the necessity and benefit of his ministry to the church allows himto function as he should in the position God has given him. He is a betterelder, husband and father when he feels this freedom. I know I will neverregret freeing him up to serve.

【5】Kissing him goodnight. Tim and I usually go to bed at the same time and praytogether before we fall asleep. Too often it is easy, at the end of a long day,to simply roll over and go to sleep. But that goodnight kiss is such a sweet,simple way of showing affection. I will never regret kissing my husbandgoodnight.

【6】Working together on projects. From the time we began dating, Tim and I haveworked together on events or projects. From home improvement projects, runningcompanies together, or promoting concerts and conferences, we have alwaysworked well together. The time spent working together for a common goal hasonly strengthened our marriage. Working together is something I will neverregret.

【7】Family devotions. I love watching my husband read the Bible to our kids. I lovewatching him interact with them about the text and then praying with them aboutit. I will never regret the time we spend together in family devotions.

【8】Laughing. I love it when Tim laughs. He is a reserved person who will oftenchuckle, but will less often outright laugh. However, when he is really amusedhe has the most delightful laugh. I cherish the times where we can laughtogether.

【9】Asking his forgiveness. I am a proud person, and it has taken me a long time tolearn how to ask for forgiveness when I sin against the most important personin my life. I am so thankful for God’s grace and growth and pray for continuedgrowth here. I know and I have learned that I will never regret asking for Tim’s forgiveness when I sin against him.

【10】Being affectionate. Tim and I naturally receive love in different ways. Hislove language is touch. Mine is not. I have had to learn how much it means tohim for me to show physical affection and I never regret the time spent showingaffection in his love language.

【11】Calling him. I usually call Tim while I’m heading home from an evening out riding orplaying soccer. Often I call when I’m excited about myevening and I want to tell him what is happening. I will never regret the timeschatting in the car on my way home.

【12】Learning with him. Since we first began dating eighteen years ago, we haveenjoyed learning together (Maybe because we first met in a high schoolclassroom!). Though it’s so often hard to find the time, we always enjoy reading a book oran article or listening to a sermon together. I will never regret the time Ispend learning with him.

【13】Following his lead. The heart of a wife’s submission to her husband is trusting herhusband’s leadership and allowing herself to be led.Our marriage and our lives simply work so much better when I allow myself tofollow Tim’s leadership. In my best moments I know thatI will never regret letting him lead.

【14】Affirming him. There are many voices telling men who they are, but the wife’s is the loudest ofall. A husband’s ego is far more fragile than we oftenunderstand. Every wife learns quickly that she can build him up or tear himdown with her words and attitude. I see how dependent Tim is on my voice, andknow I will never regret encouraging and affirming him.

【15】Greeting him. Greeting Tim when he comes in the door at the end of his day issomething I still am working on. I often get wrapped up in what I am doing, butthis is a small thing that means so much to him. I know I will never regretgreeting my husband with a hug and a kiss and a “How as your day?”

【16】Traveling with him. We still have a young family, but a few times we’ve been able to asksomeone to watch our kids so we can get away together. This takes a lot of preptime!—I spend a week organizing meals and cleaning myhouse so I can travel to a conference or some place else with Tim. But I lovethe time spent with him and I love seeing him in that context. I will neverregret carving out the time to travel with my husband.

【17】Engaging with him. We have a busy household with three children who demand andwho need a lot of our time. And in all the chaos, I know I will never regrettaking the time to stop what I’m going and engage with my husband to show him and thekids how important he is to me.

【18】Forgiving him. Tim sins against me, but almost always asks for my forgiveness.I am so thankful for Christ’s blood that covers all my sin, and so thankful that ittells me that I am to also to forgive my husband. I learned quickly in marriagethat when I don’t forgive, I grow bitter, so I know andbelieve that I will never ever regret forgiving my husband.

Andthis concludes the little “18 Things” series! But before yougo, why don’t you tell me some the things you know you’ll never regret doing with your husband.

延伸阅读

005 《写给我未来的弟兄》

006 《如何与父母相处》

010 《单身基督徒的6个回答》

008 《8件事帮助孩子与神同行》

002 《你的配偶是神所预备的吗？》

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